I’ve been a bad blogger. Well, an unfaithful one, at least. Also, I’ve not been doing so well with writing book 3, Shadow Sun. I can’t say that I haven’t made any progress at all, but I’m merely inching along. I’m certainly not as near to the ending as I’d like to be.
Writing is not easy. In fact, it takes a very long time. If you’re a writer as well, you know this. (And if you’re a writer and you think it’s easy, then I wonder about you.) I’m back and forth with this project, one day thinking it’s good and the next wondering if I’ve ruined everything. I’m trying to let the words come naturally, but at the same time practically whipping myself to finish while I have the free time to do so.
Here’s the bottom line: I’m afraid of this book. I’m afraid of what readers will think of it, and I’m nervous – perhaps unjustly – about ruining a perfectly good series with a lousy final book.
But those are normal concerns, right? Sure they are…I think.
When I wrote Nevermor, I purposely wrote it as quickly as possible, trying not to give myself enough time to get attached to it, lest I should have second thoughts about publishing. I tend to get a little selfish with my works, and when I love it, I only want the best for it, and to settle for (for example) not having the book backed by a major publisher makes me feel like the book is not reaching it’s potential, and all the effort I put into it was for nothing. Also, when I start thinking about it too hard, I start to get too involved with all the things that are wrong with it – even if I made those things up.This is the third book, year three: it was bound to have caught up to me by now. What can I say? I’m a fickle creature.
But since publishing Nevermor, I’ve felt a sense of freedom from that which I once feared. Rejection, invisibility, humiliation…those things we all dread. Nevermor has done decently, and new readers keep finding it, making the series live anew. I hope I can still say that in five years. And who knows? Sometimes it takes a while for news to spread.
Now, this brings me back to Shadow Sun. I’ve managed 95k out of my projected 150k, which is not bad, but I have trouble sticking with it. I’ve written sections all over the place, and find myself with so many concerns over how it’s going. Is it interesting enough? Exciting enough? Is the story really what it needs to be to end it all? It’s hard to tell. I guess, really, the only ones who can tell me that are my readers.
A few posts ago, I mentioned an idea for early access to Shadow Sun. I took a poll and didn’t get many responses, but just getting a few positive responses was encouraging. I still have not decided what I want to do about that. I haven’t been giving much thought to my next step lately. I was letting other forces of life creep in on me, but I’m tired of that.
I’m ready to get back to work! This is all I’ve ever wanted to do, after all.
So, that’s basically what I’ve got for you today. Mostly this is just a ‘I know you haven’t heard from me in a while, but I’m still alive’ post. After a bit of depression and general sluggishness, I think my brain is working again and I’m ready to pull myself out of this rut and get to work with my writing again!
Just a reminder and request: if you have read Nevermor and Forsaken Dreamscape, please consider leaving reviews or Amazon or Goodreads or other sites. Doesn’t have to be much, but every little bit helps me get the word out. That’s still important, even two years into this project. It’s not too late!